On hard things

You know this time we live in is a funny one isn't it. We have the internet and social media and most of us know way more wonderful people than we actually have time for. We have contact with more beautiful people that we can actually know. I'm talking about the real kind of knowing here, the kind where you know what's breaking their soul and what's saving them right now. The kind where you know where they are finding abundance and if they are feeling beloved or broken.

And I can't stop thinking about this of late. It may be because I find, (a change from the twenties to the thirties)  is it so often seems all one or the other. On one hand, we see so many hard things are happening. People have struggles, fiscal, relational, with health and the stakes are high. On the other, we can sometimes only see someone who knows all the right answers and does all the right things, has healthy kids and lots of help.

We can forget, with our vision filtered through casual encounters, through instagram and through those sometimes irritating facebook updates and comments. We can forget that everyone goes through hard things. We can forget that no one has their shit together. We can forget that everyone has good too, mixed with their hard.

Even here where I try to keep things balanced I wrote about rocking my baby under the stars but I didn't write about holding her down for a medical procedure while she screamed for help at such intensity that she popped blood vessels in her eyes and all over her face. Some things are just too hard, too raw, too painful that they don't belong to anyone other than me and maybe my most beloved, at least right away.

In the same way that some things are too good, too cherished, too abundant for words. I have yet to write about fifteen years of marriage and as my kids get older I hold most of their stories for just between us.

We can lose our places to be real, because part of our life is too out there and not meant to be shared that way. We can lose our places to be whole, because so much of what we see is just a piece of a whole.

We can forget that crucial piece to wholeness. We need to love each other well and we need to be loved well. We need love to get through the hard and to celebrate the joy.

It's through this love we can know others and be known. It's through love that some sense of wholeness starts to shift into place.

So I wrote myself a reminder. Life is hard and abundant. We have broken parts yet we are beloved. We need to love and we need to let ourselves be loved.

What I'm into: September 2013 (or sweet things September edition)

Linking up with fellow book lover Leigh Kramer to share What I’m Into. I discovered Leigh via Sorta Crunchy who was one of the first blogs I read and handed off what I'm into to Leigh. IMG_4061

What I was mostly into in September was soaking up as much summer as possible before it left. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love summer and I am never ready for it to end. To this end we spent the first week camping in the Rockies. This worked out brilliantly because the campgrounds and all the sights were almost deserted with school having started and all. We marked this down on the ever-expanding list of homeschooling perks. This was a low key trip just lots of time outside, time to read and time to swim. Everyone loved it.

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Then the kiddos and I headed to visit my family who live in one of the hottest places in Canada. It was over 30 every day there and just perfect for us to soak up one more week of fabulous beach weather.

Things I loved about September:

  • hot weather
  • seeing my family
  • solo mama walks in the woods
  • beach days
  • brunch at the Banff springs
  • so much swimming
  • coming home
  • reconnecting with friends after a busy summer
  • leaves and all their amazing colour
  • the sandbox my husband built for our kiddos. We should have done it three years ago when we moved in - hours of fun.

Things I've been busy with since we got home:

  • starting up lessons and some other schoolish stuff
  • spending as much time outside enjoying our beautiful but always fleeting fall before winter comes
  • dealing with saving the end of season garden produce and the load of fruit I brought home from my parent's house
  • three weeks worth of laundry
  • half marathon training
  • getting the yard ready for winter

Books:

The first three books in Madeline L'Engle's The Crosswicks Journal series: The Circle of Quiet is now one of my top two L'Engle books, full of challenging and affirming thoughts on life, God, faith and family. The second two were not as life changing as the first, but still beautiful and I'm looking forward into digging into the third.

What We Talk About When We Talk About God by Rob Bell: Loved Bell's sharing his research into the universe and how that affects his beliefs surrounding God. Normally Bell's writing style doesn't bother me (if you haven't read a Bell book he is a preacher and often writes how he speaks) but it did stop me from enjoying the ideas as much in this book. Many of these ideas weren't new to me, but I do think it is a worthwhile read if you have ever struggled with just who God is. My favourite section was his section on Jesus, although I wish he would have gone a little further there.

French Kids Eat Everything by Karen Le Billon:I read 2/3 of the way through this book several months ago when it was recommended by a friend. Another friend picked it up and loved it so I was inspired to take it out from the library and finish it. To me it wasn't a life changer, in large part because my family follows a lot of her 'food rules' already. I grew up in a home where food was a happy thing (my mom could have written this book) and sometimes I forget how lucky I am that I have no food issues. Our family eats moderate amounts of everything, tons of fruits and veggies and I wouldn't consider any of my kids picky eaters, although my middle one does turn up her nose to unfamiliar things sometimes, she still eats a huge variety of foods. I did like her stories about how healthy and enjoyable eating is supported by the French culture and I do think what she describes in the book is a big change from how many north americans eat. A huge disclaimer for me is that the french infant feeding sections go against everything I have learned as an IBCLC and did with my own children. I strongly recommend not following anything she comments on the French doing with infants. As an interesting FYI if you breastfeed, the breastmilk changes flavour every feeding depending on what the mother has eaten, so no need to worry about your child being exposed to different flavours. Funny how nature takes care of that. Take aways for me were: continuing to have a relaxed and positive attitude about food with my children, eating mostly whole (real) foods, we did change snacking a bit when I first read it and that is working well for us and continuing to allow my kids to fancy up the dinner table (they have been going to town with this).

The Magician's Nephew and The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis: I read these aloud to my oldest two kiddos who are enthralled as am I. Always so much joy in a well written childhood classic.

Looking forward to finishing up the Crosswicks series in October, getting my hands on Pastrix by fellow Lutheran Nadia Bolz-Weber and adding in some fun yet to be determined fiction as well.

Watched:

Rewatching reruns of season two of Call the Midwife. I am trying to convert everyone I know to this show. I've written about my love for it before.

Eating:

Lots of delicious end of season garden goodies and simple meals surrounding many veggies. Fruit crisps, zucchini lasagna, Brussel sprouts with a fried egg on top are some stand out favourites. One of the best things about fall is bumping up my tea consumption to extend past the morning so that has been happening too. Also eating LOTS. Half marathon training leaves me very hungry.

Pinning:

I tried to get a finger tattoo similar to this one but with interlocking initials to celebrate 15 years with my love but turns out a reputable tattoo shop won't tattoo fingers as it won't turn out well past healing. Who knew? And what's with all the beautiful looking ones online? (Fake or very freshly done according to my new tatoo lady.)

Loved this post on How to Raise an Artist by Erika at new to me blog urthmama

Imagining this fair trade bedspread (made from recycled wedding gowns and saris) in my house. Blue is my favourite.

Going to make these honey chai roasted almonds soon and eat them while I drink this cocoberry tea and watch all the leaves blow off the trees.