On Soulbreak

We tend to call it heartbreak but that really isn’t what it is.  A heart pumps blood around; but our soul, that pumps something else altogether.  We can’t live without our heart but we aren’t alive without our soul.  Our soul is what God placed there, the part of me that lets me know He is, the part that lets me know I am more than just molecules joined together. Soulbreak – it happens all the time – really it’s practically as commonplace as it is life shattering - through parents fighting or leaving or worse as children, through peers laughing or ignoring as teens.  Through the first boy or girl who we gave a little bit more of ourselves to, then we ended up having to dumpster dive that precious piece  from the garbage, stinky and bruised.  Through loss of a loved one (through death or sometimes worse they aren’t physically dead but they are lost to you anyway).  Through addiction, selfishness, ignorance, greed, pride and many, many other ways we break our souls and our souls are broken.

My soul is what gets angry and asks God lots of hard questions because so much of this life  just – does - not - make – any – sense. My soul wants the freedom to wail and rock my body with abandon. To clothe myself in dirty rags and feel the gritty, greasy ashes I've scattered over myself coat my palms as I tear at my hair. Worship through my wordless broken lament.

Souls are strong.  It takes a lot to break one all the way through.  Despite all odds we get up in the morning and just – keep – on – going.  To have souls like this shows we are made in His image because we long for meaning in life, even when we should feel too crushed to continue.

Souls can see glimpses of beauty and joy,  peace and wholeness on the most unsuspecting of days.